Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The Tuesday 10: Halloween Costume Edition

With everyone’s favorite spooky holiday coming up next Monday, we thought we’d take the opportunity to give you some ideas for soccer-related Halloween get-ups. If you want, just put “Sexy” in front of each of the names and adjust accordingly. 

1. The Dirk Kuyt – Recycle your costume from that time you were Sloth from “The Goonies.” Run around a lot.
The Francesc Satorra: Pretty easy, right?
2. The Francesc Satorra – Recycle your costume from that time you were Borat. Whenever possible, stand directly behind two people engaged in conversation and stare down at them dispassionately.
3. La Liga – Get some friends and all wear a Malaga, Bilbao, Villareal, etc. jerseys. Carry signs that say “We are the 90%.”
4. The Andy Carroll – Attach a fake ponytail. Drink a lot. Do nothing else.
The Carlos Tevez: Strike down upon thee with what? I don’t know what you’re talking about.
5. The Carlos Tevez – Go all out putting together a really awesome costume, like, for instance, Jules Winnfield from Pulp Fiction. Then, adamantly refuse to say anything relating to Ezekiel 25:17, any line from the movie, or anything in a Sam Jackson voice, and ignore anyone’s references to the movie.  
6. The Pele – Wherever you end up going, try to charge them a cover before you’ll go in.
7. The David Beckham – Make a grand entrance wherever you’re going, then run off to one, two, or three other parties, returning each time more bummed out than the last. 
8. The Hope Solo, Captain of the Millenium Falcon – One for the ladies: Black vest, blaster pistol, goalie gloves.
9. The Julio Baptista: Pick your favorite Beast: X-Men or Beauty and the…
Nicolas Anelka: The Incredible Sulk
10. Nicolas Anelka, The Incredible Sulk: Wear purple pants. Paint self green. Stand in the corner with your best pouty face. 

About “The Other 87 Minutes”

What is this new site we’re exposing you too? We’ll let them explain:

The Other 87 seeks to provide something that’s not instant analysis or eve of matchday previews. Think of us as the good bits of your favorite soccer coverage: the profiles that examine what makes a certain player tick, the historical background that sheds some light on how the sport has evolved to the present day, the silly features that are more than just tacking names on a list, but considering and explaining why each one deserves to be there.
O87 wants to be a home for soccer writing that makes you think, but that also treats the game as just that, a game. The greatest game, the one we obsess over and fixate on, to the point where we can’t read that gas costs 3.43 a gallon without thinking of Ajax’s 1995 Champions League winning team. But a game nonetheless.
“When you play a match, it is statistically proven that players actually have the ball three minutes on average. The best players – the Zidanes, Ronaldinhos, Gerrards – will have the ball maybe four minutes. Lesser players – defenders – probably two minutes. So, the most important thing is: what do you do those 87 minutes when you do not have the ball…. That is what determines whether you’re a good player or not.” -Johann Cruyff

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"Anyone who tells me soccer is boring, I'm going to punch them in the face."
– Former Dallas Burn (aka FC Dallas) coach Dave Dir

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