Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Tuesday 10: Recent National Team Call Up Edition

In honor of Fabian Johnson’s and Joe Corona’s call-ups to the U.S. and Mexico, we present to you ten other players with ties the Americans could have exploited to get them in the red, white and blue.

Welcome aboard, son.
1. Pedro - Is probably not the same person as Pedro Rodriguez, 57, of Midland, Texas, but how is FIFA supposed to know that?

The Italian Boss?
2. Bastian Schweinsteiger - Father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate was American.

3. Wayne Bridge - If anyone should be given the right to go all Benedict Arnold on his home country, it's this guy.

4. Alessandro Del Piero - Is almost certainly actually Bruce Springsteen.

5. Cristiano Ronaldo - Two words: Anchor baby.

6. Andy Carroll - Once, after a long night on the town, accidentally pledged allegiance to the U.S. flag.

Hulk smash backline!
7. Martin Skrtel - Has secretly always wanted to be an American football player. Hopefully he won’t notice the difference.

8. Hulk - Dr. Bruce Banner was born in America and transformed by an American gamma bomb. Now his alter-ego wants to be Brazilian? I call bullshit.

9. Samir Nasri - Have you ever seen his birth certificate? Then how do you know he wasn’t born in the United States?

10. Giuseppe Rossi - Does anyone else feel that if he’d just been named Sam or Joe or David he’d have stuck with the USA? With a name like Giuseppe, it’s not really much of a choice.

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

That was 2 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

Danny Beerseed said...

Oh well... back to the drawing board.

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