Monday, August 15, 2011

Major League Soccer Cocktails

By @ZombieJaqua / Senior Un-dead Soccer Correspondent

#MLScocktails was filled with mostly good laughs, some bitters and a touch of drunken rage rounded out this hashtag. So many funny ones to choose from, but after parsing through them all this is a list based on popularity (via RTs) combined with some of my favorites. 

Got some more good ones? Leave 'em in the comments section.

The Best:

@dendennny: The "Osvaldo Alonso" just a damn good Cuba Libre.

@FakeAdrianH: The New York Red Bulls - They practically give it away but people still ask for a Cosmo instead

The Rest of the Best:

@fjtbc: The John Rooney...A pint that you only ordered because you heard good things about the brewery

@jrodius: Surely a "Brek Shea" is equal parts Southern Comfort and Mountain Dew

@ZombieJaqua: The "Mauro Rosales": Fine 15-year old Scotch that you got at happy hour prices.
@MFUSA: The "Ben Olsen": bourbon and a splash of water. Puts hair on your chest, does the job with no fuss.

@ZombieJaqua: The "Wondolowski": Equal parts tequila, rum, vodka, milk and salted butter. And you still don't know why it works.

@KennethMJung: The "Brian Ching": Hawaiian Punch and Everclear. Known to leave a bad taste in Bob Bradley's mouth.
@MikeMageeFacts: The "Mike Magee" cocktail is made w/ 1 shot of jet fuel & 1 shot on goal. Garnish with one hammerhead shark, still swimming.

@FreeBeerMovemnt: The "Robbie Rodgers" decent local brew that's not good enough for National distribution.

@yamsmos: the "Charlie Davies" looks good on the menu but is really pretty average and only served at a dive bar

@msalgado: The "Juan Pablo Angel" - costs you way too much and never gets you drunk

@LevesquesStache: The "Montero" - A shot of tequila you shoot by throwing high & wide over your shoulder instead of in your mouth.

@raminajd: The "Peter Nowak": A standard shot of vodka, except the fans get blamed for the hangover.

@LevesquesStache: The "Landon Donovan" - Not available in Europe

@settingthetable: The "Gaven": A scotch on the rocks that seems older than it actually is.

@mattdemlein: The "Hans Backe" only get to order one drink the whole night.  No substitutions.  No food either because no silverware.

@cgrayson: ...the "Kyle Beckerman": a dirty martini, extra dirty, hold the martini

@JsinGood: The "Chivas USA": a poorly made American tequila served in a glass belonging to the LA Galaxy.

@FreeBeerMovemnt: The "Robbie Findley" order a double because it's always missing a shot.

@FCDrunk: "The FC Dallas": a shot of top shelf liquor served at 109 degrees.

@SKCdoesnotstop: The "Bouna Coundoul". Always get 2 because one shot will get dropped

@JJamrog: The "Portland Timbers" take any alcohol and pour it on the ground because they have no cups to put it in.

@tanyakeith: The "Sporting KC": they keep changing the name and it's not the best drink, but the glass freaking ROCKS!

@edgartronic: The "Saborio": one drop and you fall right over.

@LevequesStache: The "YSA" - A drink so offensive it'll get you thrown in jail.

@stevebritgimp: The "Revolution" - a shot of milk in a pint glass, if you complain you get ejected from the bar.

@jayhipps: The "San Jose Earthquake": a martini—shaken, not stirred.

@mweatherhogg: the "Brian Mullan": A bloody mary made with fresh bone marrow.

@Jon_Beard: The "Toronto FC": an underwhelming drink, no matter who the bartender is or the quality of alcohol used.

@JJamrog: The "Kenny Cooper". That liquor you don't notice when it's missing.

@andyyax: The "John Spence"r: It's wee but it packs a hell of a bite

@matchavez: 1/3 tequila, 2/3 wild turkey. Over ice. Bartender delivers when he feels like it. The "Fredy Montero"

@mhikaric: The "Seba": used to get you hammered every time. Now it's just a really good mixer.

@ZombieJaqua: The "Seattle Sounders": Any drink in the history of drinks. Because we invented them all.

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