Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The Beautiful Game: The OTHER Reason We Watch

Editor's Note: We continue with yet another random, new series on the Free Beer Movement. Soccer fans come in all shapes, colors, and sizes and how they became fans of the sport are as diverse as they are. While most of us are engrossed in the on-field action, the tactics, the drama.... for many it is more personal, more intimate.

Introducing "The Beautiful Game" a series that focuses on the lighter side, the more attractive side of soccer. Don't worry we're not trying to become "Kickette", but, in our ever-expanding quest to cover the cultural side of the sport its hard to look past a pretty face. Our contributor Amanda will be serving up soccer's best specimens from both sexes with a wit that only she can provide.

Please leave your feedback in the comments section!

By Amanda / Senior Hottie Correspondent

I started out as a Eurosnob (and I still love Liverpool), but over the past few years, I’ve come to realize Major League Soccer is really where it’s at for me. Nothing like watching a game in person, either jumping and shouting in the supporters section or gossiping and ogling the keeper over a Black Iguana or two with other soccer-loving ladies. And as MLS has matured, one thing that’s come along with much better uniforms (remember this, Sporting KC? Or this, LA?) is former players becoming coaches. Hot coaches. In this installment of The Beautiful Game, we’re taking a look at three old-school MLS players who’ve moved to the bench permanently, and do a damn fine job of looking damn fine.

First up, Jason Kreis. MLS original, Real Salt Lake coach, and GQMF. This man can wear the hell out of a suit. Even back when RSL was a struggling expansion team and not the class of the league (CONCACAF Champions League final aside), they were top of the table when it came to a well-dressed bench. Of course, nothing’s sexier than success, but I like to think having a sharp-dressed man on the sideline helped spur RSL on to their MLS Cup-winning season in 2009 and to the Champions League final this year. If you tell me you don’t want to be the trophy in this picture, I will call you a liar. Even you LA and Colorado fans want a piece of that.

Next, we turn our attention to the Eastern Conference, and D.C. United’s head coach, Ben Olsen. Now, Olsen hasn't had quite as much time as Kreis has and definitely hasn’t had the success (but I think you should get hazard pay for taking over DCU post-Onalfo). However, he is also quite the snappy dresser, though tending a little more toward hipster sweaters and untamed scruff than Jason Kreis, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Especially not when you have an excellently developed
"Sideline Glare of Intensity" and a sweet wool coat to go along with it. And when your team has the leading scorer in MLS in Charlie Davies, who knows what the future holds? Maybe DCU will make the playoffs and we’ll all see just how luxuriant an Olsen playoff beard can get. Fingers crossed.

And finally, Houston Dynamo coach Dom Kinnear, part of the long list of "Terrifying Coaches I Love". Sure, he looks all smiley here, but dude’s been working on his death stare for decades now (when he wasn't working on his awesome curly mullet, it seems). And as much as I love him, I’d be lying if I said Kinnear was anywhere near as well-dressed as Olsen or Kreis.

Actually, he tends to favor team polos and ill-fitting pants. But when he’s not terrifying (i.e. most times except for immediately after a Dynamo loss), just look at that smile. And remember how I said nothing’s sexier than success? Yeah, about that.

Darn right, y’all.

Meet Amanda

I'm a lawyer in South Texas, a.k.a. the middle of nowhere. I drive three hours each way to attend all the Dynamo home games I can, and that's only partially because standing with Texian Army gives me a
great view of Tally Hall from behind. Hot players are a bonus, but I'd love the game even if they all looked like Carlos Tevez (the women too). You can find me on The Girls in the Cheap Seats, talking about the American game as part of a rotating cast of smart female fans. I post my own nonsense over at Needs More Kittens,and tweet more than I should here.

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"Anyone who tells me soccer is boring, I'm going to punch them in the face."
- Former Dallas Burn (aka FC Dallas) coach Dave Dir

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