Frankie Hejduk’s Retirement is Only the Beginning of His Epic Journey as FBM Spokesperson
Planting the Seed of Soccer Across America: Danny Beerseed
The greatest American to ever live (except for Chuck Norris and Abraham Lincoln) announced his retirement from professional soccer this afternoon, joining his old club's front office. Pfffft... lame!
Crew legend Frankie Hejduk today announced his retirement from professional soccer, following a stellar 16-year career in which he captained the club to the MLS Cup 2008 championship and represented the United States at two World Cups and two Olympics. Simultaneously, the Crew announced that he will join the front office as brand ambassador, a newly created role in which he will promote the Crew through a variety of methods, interacting with all aspects of the organization for the purpose of raising awareness, supporting business development initiatives and generating excitement for the club.
“I want to thank my family and all of my teammates, trainers, equipment managers, front office staffers, coaches and fans for making my life that much more special, both on and off the field,” Hejduk said. “We all share a special bond that’s tough to explain to anyone outside that circle, but the memories we share and the good times we had will never be forgotten or matched. Now I look forward to continuing my association with the Crew and helping to grow the sport of soccer.”
Known for his tireless work rate, Hejduk was one of the most recognizable and dynamic players in Major League Soccer for 12 seasons, including three with the Tampa Bay Mutiny (1996-98) and one with the LA Galaxy (2011). Over the course of his storied career in Black & Gold (2003-10), Hejduk was a part of four major trophies – the MLS Cup title and three Supporters’ Shields (2004, 2008, 2009) – while becoming one of the most popular figures in club history.
He won a second MLS Cup with the Galaxy in 2011 and was on 1996 and 2011 Supporters’ Shield winning teams with Tampa Bay and LA, respectively.
Somewhere in that EULOGY the Crew forgot to mention how epically awesome Hejduk was at partying. Like when he was suspended for home game against Los Angeles in 2008 and went out to tailgate and slam brews with fans.Or when Frankie went over to the Nordecke supporters section to celebrate a win, a fan handed him a beer, and he drank it on-field. Not to mention the dozens, if not more, documented Hejduk sightings at watering holes in Tampa, LA, Columbus, or wherever the USMNT happened to land during his tour of duty.
Did we mention that he also took a slap to the face for America? A Mexican assistant coach, Francisco Paco Ramírez, took umbrage with the U.S. team after another "dos a cero" at Crew Stadium in 2009 and Hejduk was the recipient of one wuss-tap from Ramiriez. We couldn't confirm whether or not Hejduk slowly wiped his lip and checked his hand for blood while then offering a cold, steely gaze that would later give Ramirez so many nightmares he would later be committed to a mental institution in Verazcruz.
Frankie Hejduk is a true patriot, party animal, and epically cool soccer player. And while "brand ambassador" for the Columbus Crew sounds alright we feel as though he's got a different "brand" that his lifestyle syngerizes with even better.
That of "Free Beer Movement" spokesperson.
He racks up too many yellow cards for ill-timed tackles and has terrible hair, but we love him. He also is the only one to drink a beer in a team photo and Frankie scores clutch equalizers against CONCACAF minnows. He was probably the best player at the disaster 1998 World Cup as well.
The Crew can have Frankie to hawk their season tickets, sign soccer balls, and vend beer, but we've got beer pong tournaments, brewery tours, kegstands at tailgates, and beer bongs on the backs of bald eagles.
Scoring in the MLS Cup is all swell and returning to the club where you earned God-like status is pretty sweet. We're not saying that Frankie can't do both. We can work something out like Mondays, Wednesday, and Fridays with every other weekend in there.
This could be your life Franklin!
|Frankie Hejduk leads the fans at the 2006 World Cup in Germany.|
Doesn't that look sweet?
When we started the FBM back in 2009 Frankie's inclusion as our spokesperson seemed like a pipe dream, but like our mother says in those motivation Hallmark cards she sends us and what our stuffed animals on our bed tells us in high, squicky voices that sound pretty much like our own.... we can do anything if we set our minds to it.
Mr. Hejduk.... we will not rest until you hoist the FBM scarf high and join us in a celebratory beer when we too announce you as our "brand beer-bassador".
Tweet the Columbus Crew and let's see if they're share Hejduk with us.
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